Plenty's happening that makes me worry.
Our adoption process and desire to adopt an orphan from El Salvador has fallen to tiny bits. My wife and I find ourselves seeking God's wisdom, and of course peace. Not to mention patience. Something I've had four decades of trouble with. Information about our adoption agency has surfaced which makes me angry. Also sad. For the agency. For us. But mostly for orphans who are stuck somewhere in the process. Orphans I don't know, but that God does. Aside from the agency troubles which are too difficult to explain in a blog post, we also find ourselves out the time and much of the costs we have incurred to date. We've been on a long road towards being a family, and it's been wiped clean like a home torn apart in a violent tornado. So anger is not a desired emotion right now, as I continue to grow closer in my relationship with God, but is one I am fighting. And though it shouldn't surprise me, I continue to see God's hand in the details. Details are where I find Him. Every time. In people that God continually puts in my life. Encouragers. People with experience. And people who really trust God. Some familiar faces. Others complete strangers. Like Anna who spoke to my company Thursday. Amazing faith. Tangible work that God is doing in and through a single young person. So I am reminded to trust. And grow. And seek joy.
Two weeks ago yesterday, my friend and mentor Joel challenged me. He showed me God asking..."Do you trust Me yet?" And I see God's work in my friends. And he asks..."Do you trust Me yet?" And I hear Anna's story of faith firsthand (Click on her new video). And he asks..."Do you trust Me yet?" And I sit across the table last night across from my beautiful wife who loves me beyond reason. And he asks..."Do you trust Me yet?" And I see my sister's faith in Christ growing and blossoming. And he asks..."Do you trust Me yet?" And I see my brother John looking to God from a new perspective in wonder and amazement. And he asks..."Do you trust Me yet?" And He moved my wife and I to Wheaton Illinois to do His work. And he asks..."Do you trust Me yet?"
So I want to punch myself in the head, and say YES. Yes God, I do. It seems so obvious when I take time to think about all He has done for my wife and I.
But then someone neglects to use their turn signal. Or Sears rips me off somehow (again). Or it costs me 80 bucks to fill up my car. Or my pipes start to crumble and roof starts to leak.
But when I really think about it, or am reminded by the Holy Spirit, I run to Him. Even when I think I'm okay. I go. More today than yesterday. And that's no doubt a blessing.
We live in bizarre times. A lot is changing. But we are asked to not worry. I see the birds, and am reminded of their dependence on God. He asks us to do the same. I try every day to remember this, but forget a lot. Remind me if you see me sometime. I will try to do the same in return.
Labels: adoption, annabanana.org, Christian, Faith, friends, holy spirit, Made me think, Sears, trust, trust Joel