Oh, this hurts so bad. I can hardly breathe.

Here I am again asking questions,
Waiting to be moved.
I am so unsure of my perception,
What I thought I knew I don't seem to
Where is the turn so I can get back to what I believe in?
Back to the old me and

[Chorus]
God, please hear my call.
I am afraid for me.
Love has burned me raw
I need your healing
Please, please, please.

[Verse 2]
I am such a fool
How did I get here?
Played by all the rules
Then they changed
I am but a child to your vision
Standing in the cold and the rain
Lost here in the dark
I can't see my foot to take a step,
What is happening?
Oh, this hurts so bad. I can hardly breathe.
I just want to leave so...

[Chorus]
God, please hear my call.
I am afraid for me.
Love has burned me raw
I need your healing
Please,
God, please hear my call.
I am afraid for me.
Love has burned me raw
I need your healing
Please, please, oh, please, please.

God please hear my call.
I am afraid.
Love has turned me cold,
I need your healing.
Please, please, please, please, please, please.

Prayer and reflection. Mom and America.

Today my mom would turn 68 (right Stacy?). I miss her. She would always call and say hello. Just to say hi. I am lucky to have grown up in my family. And in America. And today, I am fasting and praying. And joining in on a day of worship to a God who loves us, and who is coming again to judge the living and the dead.

I love you Mom. I love you God. Today you are on my mind more than ever.

Power Projection and your ministry

I have no idea who reads my blog, so this may very well sound like a video that has no interest to you, and in the end, it might not. But believe me - this applies to so much more than just ministry. I have watched this several times now and the implications are wide. I am not particularly fond of anything to do with war, but in terms of a strategy for getting things done, this is interesting. I am however, a new fan of worklife.org's video channel on YouTube. It appears on first glance that Doug Spada at worklife.org is doing some important work for the kingdom.

A Prayer for Understanding

Lord,
I know that an overwhelming majority of people pray. Even atheists pray some of the time. And when the fate of a loved one is at stake, everyone prays.

Yet in spite of our prayers, not all of our loved ones make it off the mountain. Some fall to their deaths. Some fall sick and die. Some fall prey to freezing weather.

So what makes the difference?

Good equipment? Good balance? Or is it just good luck?

And how does prayer fit into it all?

People pray and live. People pray and die.

Is it some formula that makes the difference? Some special wording? What?

I know you care about what happens here in this world. You created it. You sustain it. You sent your Son to die for it.

So why don’t you intervene more often? Why don’t you respond more quickly—especially when the prayers are so urgent?

I sometimes feel like a child in a world that has lost its wonder, in a world that has turned scary with shadows, and I can’t find my way home.

Please be patient with all my questions, especially with the ones that seem so childish.

And grant that in my faltering prayers I might stumble across a question that leads me closer to you.

via Ken Gire, The Northface of God, ©Tyndale House Publishers 2005

What if a 1000 sleepless nights are what it takes to know you're near?

Laura Story, Blessings

Dear Jesus...

...please let me forget about my hurting and sadness and fears, and remind me to care more about others.

Pennies HEART from phos pictures on Vimeo.

I will be waiting

Funny how many times, while we were walking together, I said, "Go slow, I'm falling behind."

Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick and think of you

Caught up in circles, confusion is nothing new
Flash back warm night, almost left behind
Suitcase of memories
Time after sometime you pictured me
I'm walking too far ahead
You're callin' to me
I can't hear what you've said
Then you said, "Go slow, I fall behind"
The second hand unwinds

If you're lost you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you, I'll be waiting
Time after time

If you're lost you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you, I'll be waiting
Time after time

After my picture fades
And darkness has turned to grey
Watching through windows
You're wondering if I'm OK
Secrets stolen from deep inside
The drum beats out of time

If you're lost you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you, I'll be waiting
Time after time

You said, "Go slow, I fall behind"
The second hand unwinds

If you're lost you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you, I'll be waiting
Time after time

Time after time

Don't Cry. Dry Your Eyes.

Why do you cry?
He has risen.
Why are you weeping?
He's not dead.

Why do you cry?
He has risen.
Why are you weeping?
He's not dead.

He paid it all on that lonely highway.
And his anointing I can feel.
He shed his blood for my transgressions.
And by his stripes we are healed.

Why do you cry?
He has risen.
Why are you weeping?
He's not dead.

So as you go through life's journeys,
don't you worry,
lift up your head.
Don't you cry.
Stop your weeping.
He has risen.
He's not dead.

Don't weep.
He's not asleep.
Jehovah.
He's not dead

Don't cry.
wipe your eyes.
He's not dead.

( Don't Cry , by Kirk Franklin )

via brother Kirk Franklin.

Hold Me Now

I'm looking over my life and all the mistakes I made
And I'm afraid
Afraid
Somebody told me that You would wash all my sins
And cleanse me from the scars that are so deep within
So I'm calling to You
If you can hear me
I don't know how
I was wondering can you hold me now
You are the only one that's patient when I fall
Your angels come to save me every time I call
You don't laugh at me when I make mistakes and cry
You're not like man
You understand me
See people change one day
They don't like you the next they do
I wish that everyone could love me just like You
So here I am this sinful man peace won't allow
I was wondering can you hold me now
I was wondering can you hold me now
To every broken person that may hear this song
To every boy or girl that feels their smile is gone
I know exactly how it feels to lay in the bed at night
And cry
And cry
Don't you worry God is faithful and He cares
About the tears you drop and the pain you feel He there
When you are weak that's when he's strong
Even though you don't know how
God can and he will hold you now
God can and he will hold you now
God can and he will hold you now
Don't you worry he can hold you now

via brother Kirk

I am Second

Reminders like the video below are a blessing. And though I'm fortunate to hear this meaningful message of putting Christ first on a fairly regular basis in my work and my personal faith walk with friends, somehow it sinks in more when I hear it from Tony. Probably in how he impresses me by the way he lives out his faith without compromise, yet without proselytizing. No matter how hard I pray, no matter how hard I try, I always come up short of the mark. Yet the takeaway I get from Tony is to never compromise. Even when it ruffles feathers. Even when people don't understand you. And even when it feels like failure. So thank you Tony, and Yolanda and Nancy who just today shared this great video with me as I work hard to serve them well. And in the end, serve God well, using the giftedness He has given me. I am second. A good reminder. Amen.

DOG backwards spells GOD

Struggles, questions, issues and joys that I cannot get my head around. All of this is my life over the last several years. But with humility, reverence and awe, one thing I can say with 100% certainty is this: God works in all of His creation. In people who use the F-word. In murderers. In sinners of all ilks. In the most holy. And the least. In words that are spoken. And those that are not.

And, in dogs.

Read the testimony of one such dog — the last minutes with one of God's special creations - ODEN. As told by a man who sees God, just through knowing ODEN.

via Tina, the Swissmiss

Serving Those Who Serve God

I am grateful to have met both of these incredible people personally. Calvin Nowell and Rebecca St. James. They both came to the publishing ministry I serve with and they blessed us with their words of encouragement and grace. Thank you God for the opportunity you have given me to serve those who serve you.

Rebecca and Calvin, thank you.





( via the amazing Billy Graham Evangelical Association )

Mad Skills: Janel's Handmade Bags and Purses

Christmas 2007, my wife Janel received her first sewing machine. She's often considered getting one, but for any number of reasons we never pulled the trigger. Since that time, she's been working diligently in her free time to learn how to use it. She plans to take classes, but thought she would fool around a bit to get some basics nailed down first.

Well, she did way more than nail down the basics. In fact, for nearly every weekend she's had free time since Christmas, and on some weekday nights, she's began making purses and over-the-shoulder bags of all shapes, styles, colors, and sizes. From the look of things, you would think she's been sewing all her life. In fact a few weeks back, a group of dear friends organized a purse party for her and she somewhat timidly boxed all her new creations up, hoping they would be well received. Well received they were, and she sold almost every one! Almost 40 bags in total! The purpose of the party was to raise funds for our El Salvador adoption fund.

Take a look at her purses in our Flickr set, or the Pictobrowser gallery I made (above) for this post. To see them bigger, go directly to the Flickr set I just mentioned, or click on the word "Link" in PictoBrowser and it will take you to the Flickr page I have set up. These are literally the first thing she has ever sewn. I am super proud of her. For one, she is really talented. I think her ability to sew so well was as big a surprise to her as it was me. Secondly, she had her mind set on learning how to sew so she could make enough bags to sell. Since selling them all since, she has made another 12 more bags for people who have seen them and asked for their own.

I can't wait to tell our children someday about how driven she was to make these bags. She did it with these children in mind. Children we don't yet know, but one's God has planned for our family. Janel is an amazing wife, and she encourages me by how faithful she is, and how much she already loves her children. The one's we have not yet met.

These bags are a tangible example of Janel's loving nature and her desire to glorify God. I am so proud to be her husband and so looking forward to helping her raise the children God places in our care.

Life Verse Design: Scripture Art

Former colleague, fellow graphic designer, and friend "J" just contacted me to tell me she's just opened her new ETSY store—Life Verse Design. It's wonderful, and serves as a great gift resource for weddings, births, new home, baptism, confirmation, graduation, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Pastor Appreciation Day, birthdays, and other events. Her store is worship. It's meant to glorify God, and will encourage and grow you. Her work as a graphic designer is stellar, and you'll love how she has incorporated her gifts into actual works of art. Highly recommended.

A Good Friday: Not Because of What I've Done.

I hope this post finds you well on Good Friday, or whenever it is you're reading this.

Spending more time at the newly discovered Ron's Reflections blog has taught me about quenching the Spirit and about the ministry of Casting Crowns. What a cool video testimony from the band. It's refreshing to see how they see themselves first as ministry, then secondly as a band. Ron's blog has also helped me learn more about myself. And more confirmation that it's Christ's work, not my own; that not because of what I've done, but because of who He is.

Some of the Casting Crown's lyrics from the YouTube video above:

Who am I that the Lord of all the earth… would care to know my name? Would care to feel my hurt?” “Who am I that the one who calmed the seas… would call out through the rain and calm the storm in me?” “Not because of what I’ve done… but because of who you are… Not because of who I am… but because of what you’ve done…”

Chorus:
“I am a flower quickly fading, Here today and gone tomorrow. A wave tossed in the ocean, A vapor in the wind. Still you hear me when I’m calling, Lord you catch me when I’m falling, And you told me who I am. I am yours. I am yours.

( Thank you Ron )

Light of the World: Thank God It's Friday

Thank God it's Friday. An understatement. I'm thankful for Jesus' Passion, Crucifixion, and Death on the cross. After a long and reflective week being sick and homebound, Good Friday feels especially Good. I suppose this also rings true in a larger sense. The same Light of God stands ready to transform people's dim souls as they make the powerful decision to except Christ into their heart, and as they no longer deny Truth.

Read Ron Ethridge's special accounting of the true meaning of Good Friday here, and a wonderful reflection he made previously on the Light of the world.

I pray for Good in your Friday. And everyday.

Science. Nature. Nothing is Superfluous.

Wellcome Image Award 2008 features a selection of images captured during groundbreaking scientific research.

Human subtlety will never devise an invention more beautiful, more simple or more direct than does nature because in her inventions nothing is lacking, and nothing is superfluous. — Leonardo da Vinci

I included this quote from Davinci because it's interesting to compare art from a mere man with the work of God.

( via miosite )

A Reflection on Energy.

For several days I've experienced the kind of sick that makes it hard to lift your arms. That after 2 nights straight of coughing makes it burn to drink water. That turns sweating and chills on and off like a light switch. The kind of sick that is bronchitis.

During this time I've been virtually silent. No conversations. No Television. Virtually no speaking at all. And stillness due to pain. (Admittedly some time online when sleeping was tough). All in all a time to heal and restore. This absence from everywhere, everything and everyone has offered me insight into how special energy is. In a tangible way. And it's made me appreciative of where it comes from.

I have completely taken my energy source for granted. I awake full of energy, and have it kicked up a notch after the first sip of morning coffee. It's not something I think about all that much. And it's not something I run short of very often. But this time I am virtually without. What a contrast to my typical self. I give praise for a body that is normally energized. And for times when I can energize others. I've always been grateful for that.

I take this moment to share my thanks for the energy that is God.

In the middle of the night during a typical cough-fest, I watched this heartfelt re-account given by a Neuroanatomist (brain scientist) of her experience having had a stroke, told recently at the TED conference. Taking nothing away from Jill Bolte Taylor (her talk was spectacular on the surface), I couldn't help but think how so many scientists work their entire career trying to define and describe things within our limited source and scope of understanding. We are limited by time and space. God is not. The TED talk is mesmerizing and emotional, but empty when God is absent from the conversation. Just look to God. That's where it originates.

Jen's Distracted.

Previously I shared how Ben Workman is Desperate. Now I must tell you that Jen's distracted. And like Ben's predicament, it sounds like you can learn something about yourself from her distraction. I know I did. Jen shares...

He delights in mercy and overflows with grace. He likes to give us good things–deserving or not. While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. When we were yet without strength…Christ died for the ungodly. Death as a gift. The gift that brings life. I love the paradoxes of truth.

( via finding jen's view )

Thank God. Ben Workman is Desperate.

No need to paraphrase this powerful experience. Read for yourself the thoughts from young Ben Workman.